Growth.
It’s actually pretty simple and easy to do. It requires having a belief in yourself that will take you further than you could have imagined.
Here is my framework to growth and how if more people participated, it would naturally make the world a better place.
1. Take care of something special to you.
Start with a plant. The key is to go into a shop and pick out your favorite looking plant. Something that you deeply care about and want to take care of. The plant is a reflection of yourself. The more you take care of it and nurture it the more it will grow. This means regularly watering it, trimming the leaves that serve no purpose, and occasionally changing up the soil. If you’re willing to put in the extra steps to take care of it, you’ll see tremendous results.
If you would treat another living object with more care than you treat yourself, you may need to reconsider what in your life isn’t serving a purpose and cut it out. For me this was alcohol. I didn’t have a problem with it, but like any other 20 year old kid, I liked to drink on the weekends with my friends. It led to unproductive weekends, miserable hangovers, and made me ill. I decided to cut it out of my life and it’s only been beneficial.
2. Find and put yourself in social situations.
Yes it can be intimidating, but it’s crucial for growth. I am a hermit nowadays and definitely prefer my personal space, but each time I put myself out there I learn how to interact with the world in new ways. For those introverts out there, start with concerts. Find a local bar, venue, or somewhere that has live music where you don’t really have to speak with anyone. Each time I’ve put myself out there I’ve met someone that has impacted my life. Whether that be someone that I definitely don’t want to associate myself with or new friends. The more you go out the more you start to gauge your place within society. People you associate yourself with; new hobbies or activities that you like participating in.
The sooner you understand everyone else is just like you, the sooner you can stop caring about what other people think about you. I mean, the sooner you realize everyone has their own set of issues, agendas, and opinions the sooner you can stop caring about what others may think about you. Realistically for all those people that are like me, that care about what other people think about them. How often do you find yourself thinking about other people? The less you care about other people’s opinions the more time you’ll have to figure out your own.
3. Find a solo hobby that is challenging.
A hobby that you perform individually teaches you everything you need to know about yourself. There is no one to blame in individual hobbies, you are the technician. I haven’t experienced as much joy, heartbreak, grit, and determination as I do when I perform my hobbies. No one is forcing me to complete a drawing that I’ve had on my mind for a while. No one teaches me how to extract the ideas I’ve been trying to write down for a while. No one pushes the surfboard under the water when a wave crashes on me. Each time I fail I learn a lesson. Each of the lessons turn into a tiny win, which generates the momentum for me to continue growing.
4. Turn fear into leverage.
I think many people have forgotten how difficult it is to live outside of our comfort zones. I also think because of this, people have become more fearful. Alex Honnold, a professional climber, has a great line about fear (Thanks Colter for showing me this I think about it all the time). He says that he climbs free solo because it gives him a real sense of fear. This fear makes the mundane aspects of life more manageable. Where someone may freak out about a spider in the house, he’s a couple fingertips away from death at any given moment. Colter, as mentioned above, has been free diving off the coast of San Diego lately. I told him it was scary, thinking about the sharks and the idea of holding your breath for a long time, and he told me something very reasonable. That each time you put yourself in a fearful situation, you train yourself to become more comfortable in uncomfortable settings. “It makes you take you a step back so that you can analyze a situation before diving head first” (Colter). This is true for most situations.
You are free to live your life the way you’d like to. But, I think if more people adopted a growth first mentality we all lead much better, more fulfilling lives.
Thanks for reading.
With love,
Kai
Weekly Poem:
As I peer over the edge of the snow lipped crest.
A village of trees occupies the valley.
They stand tall, crooked, and deformed.
Their presence is overwhelming, as they represent adaptation and resilience.
And I sit there shivering in the cold.
