Giving without expecting anything in return.
This time of year is amazing, it’s back to back holidays, filled with amazing friends and family. During this time of year, it's one of the few occasions where we show our appreciation towards each other expressed in the action of giving.
Except, psychologically, we have become accustomed to receiving as well as giving. I believe the unconscious reason most people go out of their way to give, is because they are then able to hold that action over the recipient in the future.
This is a terrible example, but it is the most effective way of getting my point across. The mob operated their entire industry on this premise; an eye for an eye. I do this job for you, and when I need you to, you do this job for me. It really is an effective way of getting people to succumb to an hierarchical status. To hold a debt upon another being is human nature, you can trace it back to the beginning of major civilizations. I conquer you, provide you with safety, and you fight for me. Today, my much less extreme example still exemplifies the idea that we as humans are selfish, and mostly serve our own self interests.
Even though your intentions may have been the right ones when you bought the gift, you may still feel a desire to expect something in return.
I believe that this trait can be reversed, and we can start acting out of selfless intentions rather than selfish ones. I love this Youtuber/author/artist by the name of Struthless. He is someone I turn to when I’m feeling, well, in the dumps. His self awareness, translated through his creativity, has been a resource for me to draw inspiration and enact personal discovery.
One of my favorite practices he has to get better at becoming selfless, is to offer up the first bite. Meaning, when your loved one orders the wrong thing almost 90% of the time, instead of selfishly eating it all, you offer them the first bite, or even better, switch meals entirely. His reason for doing so, “Because it’s awesome” is something I definitely agree with. This act restructures your ego and breaks the barrier of whatever idea you have built up for yourself down to a molecular level. It forces you to see eye to eye, not take an eye for an eye.
Why is it important to become selfless?
It’s a complicated question followed by a simple answer, “Because it’s awesome”.
When you start to act selflessly you view the world through a different lens. You start to see acts of kindness where you may not have noticed them before. You can build a sense of purpose, especially in a community. Your relationships become stronger and you start to think about the bigger picture.
The benefits outweigh the negatives and it ultimately makes your intentions more grounded.
If no one owes you anything you are truly free. You resonate with people you may not have resonated with before. You may even give to people who are in need more than you are. There is a peace in knowing, and to be selfless is to know that you are not the center of the universe, you merely exist to observe it.
Next time you get someone a gift, remember to reflect on your intentions.
Thanks for reading.
With love,
Kai
Weekly Poem:
A boy runs up with a box of candy.
The older gentleman reaches into his pocket.
He sifts, shifts, and lifts, until he finally finds his five dollars.
He hands the boy the cash, smiles and waves him off.
The boy runs away with joy and some laughter.
